My post-Betty White hangover

My post-Betty White hangover
May 10, 2010

Now that I’ve finished laughing from Saturday Night Live…

If you missed this past weekend’s SNL, I’ll spare you the blow-by-blow details, but you really need to check it out on the Internet, Tivo, or YouTube. Try thinking Sue Ann Nivens on steroids, and that was Betty White’s performance.

So what’s new in sports? Let’s start with Oakland A’s pitcher Dallas Braden tossing a perfect game Sunday against the Tampa Bay Rays. Chances are you’ve already heard about Braden’s ongoing feud with Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees, but you have to admit it was sort of cute to hear Braden’s grandmother, Peggy Lindsey say “Stick it, A-Rod” after hugging Braden on the field.

How rare are perfect games? Well, it’s only the 19th time in major league history a pitcher has thrown one. It was the first in Oakland history since Catfish Hunter did it to the Minnesota Twins May 8, 1968. But it’s not even a year since Mark Buehrle tossed his perfecto for the White Sox against the Rays July 23.

How quirky is that the Rays have been on the receiving end of the two most recent perfectos? Is this a record of sorts? No, actually, it’s not. The Los Angeles Dodgers were perfecto victims of Reds pitcher Tom Browning September 16, 1988 and of Dennis “El Presidente” Martinez, who pitched the next perfecto for the Montreal Expos on July 28, 1991. In fact, including Don Larsen’s perfecto in the 1956 World Series, the Dodgers are the most victimized by perfection, three times in the modern era. The Rays are now twice victimized, joining Minnesota (Hunter’s 1968 gem and David Wells’ 1998 perfecto at Yankee Stadium). Other teams to fall to perfection are the old Philadelphia A’s (1904, courtesy of Cy Young, Red Sox), Chicago White Sox (1908, courtesy of Addie Jones, Indians), Detroit Tigers (1922, courtesy of Charles Robertson, White Sox), New York Mets (of course! Phillie Jim Bunning’s Father’s Day gem at Shea on June 21, 1964), Chicago Cubs (1965, courtesy of Sandy Koufax, Dodgers), Toronto Blue Jays (1981, courtesy of Len Barker, Indians), Texas Rangers (1984, courtesy of Mike Witt, Angels), California Angels (1994, courtesy of Kenny Rogers, Rangers), Montreal Expos (1999, courtesy of David Cone, Yankees), and Atlanta Braves (2004, courtesy of Randy Johnson, Diamondbacks).

Which team has tossed the most perfect games? Sorry Yankee haters, but the Yankees own this distinction with three (Larsen in ’56, Wells in ’98, and Cone in ’99).

Which months are most popular for perfectos? In the modern era, May is not only known for flowers and Mother’s Day, but also six perfect games. July is the runner up with four perfectos (ironically 2 on July 28th). September had three perfectos. In case you’re wondering, every month of the traditional regular season (April through October) has witnessed at least one perfect game.

So what’s the deal with the Yankees? One stinkeroo of a Sunday night game to wrap up a series in Boston and suddenly fans need to worry about three-fifths of the starting rotation? Andy Pettitte is feeling his age. A.J. Burnett can’t pitch in Fenway. Javy Vasquez can’t pitch in the American League.

The New York Daily News’ John Harper wrote last week how the Yankees and Mets should work out a trade to bring Vasquez back to the national league. In theory, that’s a nice idea, but I’m not convinced Vasquez can pitch in New York at all. Remember Ed Whitson? Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Seriously, could you imagine the Yankees and Mets swapping Vasquez for Ollie Perez? While this may seem intriguing, I can’t help but wonder if the Yankees need to throw in a prescription for Xanax while the Mets send some Ritalin in return. When you think about Vasquez’s neurosis and Perez’s Attention Deficit Disorder (c’mon… like you never suspected it?!), this could be the first trade in MLB history to include psychiatry and pharmaceutical companies. And you thought Jimmy Piersall was a little meshuga back in the 1960s?

But seriously, folks… Ollie Perez once again brings light to a gradually brewing problem with Mets pitching this season – too many walks, starters reaching pitch counts too early, too many innings from an overworked bullpen, and too many high-wire acts as pitchers continue to wiggle in and out of trouble inning after inning. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Jerry Manuel and Dan Warthen need to nip this issue in the bud ASAP if they don’t want a completely burnt out pitching staff by July.

On the bright side, how about the Mets catchers?! Rod Barajas and Henry Blanco are a solid 1-2 punch with their bats, gloves, working with pitchers, and throwing out potential base stealers. Who would’ve thought it, eh? To think, quality backstop play from guys NOT named Molina…

Okay, I agree; David Wright is striking out way too much, but his 9th inning ejection Sunday afternoon brought attention to another issue much more disturbing than his strikeout propensity – once again we see a home plate umpire, Paul Schrieber, lacking the inability to call a consistent strike zone and the patience to tolerate frustrated batters. If the Mets happened to tie the score in the 9th inning and send the game into extra frames, Jerry Manuel would be forced to play a pitcher in the field because he ran out of position players on his bench. While I agree Jerry needs to stop over-managing with pitching changes and double switches, the fact remains that the outcome of a game should not be affected by an umpire’s short fuse. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, Sunday’s game reflected just as much a failure of Schieber’s inability to provide a “fair and balanced” strike zone as Mets and Giants pitchers to locate it while issuing a total of 16 walks.

Isn’t it cool to go hitless and not ruin your batting average? San Francisco’s Juan Uribe enjoyed a rare “successful” unsuccessful day at the plate. 5 appearances, 4 walks, 1 hit by pitch, zero official at bats. Holy “Moonlight” Graham…

So, the 76ers are interviewing former Piston Bill Laimbeer to be their next head coach? I guess Bad Boy Bill must’ve known what he was doing when he stepped down as a WNBA coach last year.

Do we still think the Cavs are a shoe-in for the NBA finals? Not if LeBron James’ elbow barks on alternating days and Moe Williams can’t even shoot free throws. ESPN radio’s Jason Smith brought up an interesting point about the Cavs’ glass jaw during postseason play, and he has an excellent point – the Cavs don’t have the guts or backbone to tough out games when they’re not enjoying a rout by halftime. The Cavs could be the best front runners the NBA has ever seen.

I have two thoughts… first, could I possibly rent out some of the titanium holding my spine together to Cavs head coach Mike Brown? Second, Are the Cavs the NBA version of the 2006-2008 New York Mets? Just wondering, but the last time we saw our Mets with puffed chests and fully confident, they were running away with the NL East by a double-digit margin four seasons ago. Once the Phillies figured out how to tighten things up and drag a race into September, our Mets stopped relaxing, breathing, and fighting. Funny how talented teams play when opponents have the audacity to show up.

Not that I’m saying our Mets lacked heart, but you notice there’s a lot more fight in this year’s version, despite its flaws, than the chest bumping, hand slapping, dugout dancing version of 2006-2008. What’s different? Maybe just a little less false bravado that would spontaneously shrink the minute reporters showed up to ask the tough questions.

There was only one 1969 Mets, and one 1973 Mets, and one 1986 Mets, yet you have to admit that the earlier pennant versions were a lot more fun to root for, simply due to their pluckiness when the expectations weren’t there. Call me crazy, but this year’s version has a touch of that old pluck.

I don’t know if the Cavs have pluck, but I do know this – when your team keeps everyone’s tongue wagging until a certain point in the postseason year after year, you seriously have to wonder if the star forward is the only member who could or should be looking towards the door. Just remember, as brilliant as Doug Collins about basketball, he couldn’t it all in Chicago, even with Michael Jordan. Maybe the Cavs are getting as far as they can with LeBron and Coach Brown working together.

Any predictions on tonight’s NHL Eastern semifinal Game 6 between Montreal and Pittsburgh? If the pattern holds true for the Habs, they’ll get just enough scoring to go with terrific goaltending to force a Game 7 in Pittsburgh.

By the way, if you're looking for excellent columns regarding the steroids suspension of Houston Texans Linebacker Brian Cushing, I highly recommend Peter King of Sports Illustrated and Tara Sullivan of the Bergen Record.